


Tangled in the Web of Life

by TinyTiger28



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Funny, Gen, Irondad, Oneshot, Oneshot collection, Ridiculous, dumb, endgame spoilers, i have no control over your life choices, if you haven't watched endgame dont read this, im serious, oneshots, or do, spiderson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-13 17:23:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19255753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyTiger28/pseuds/TinyTiger28
Summary: A collection of sometimes loosely connected spiderman centered oneshots (MCU Peter Parker Spiderman). Some might stand a chance of getting their own fic/more chapters depending on how much I like them.Currently Includes:Aftermath, Irondad and Spiderson: Best Moments





	1. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a sleepy spidey has to deal with the aftermath of Endgame.
> 
> Takes place after Avengers: Endgame, about two or three weeks after Tony's funeral, and probably a little bit after Cap retired. This is being written before Spiderman: Far from Home came out, so if some of the stuff in this wouldn't be able to comply with canon, sue me (I'm kidding, please don't do that).
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Themes of bullying, violence, and sleep deprivation
> 
> P.S. Yes, I am operating under the assumption that all of Pete's friends (and that one enemy) got snapped. Fight me, statistics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I dont own these characters. Marvel/Disney owns them.
> 
> Also my motto is "Canon fuckery" so bear with me here.

_Beep. Beep. Bee-_

Peter leapt through the window in the nick of time, slapping the alarm clock as he began throwing off his suit. Snatching a random shirt off the floor, he threw it on, only realizing which shirt it was after he glanced downward to pull on his blue jeans. It was the science pun shirt. Well, one of them. He had a lot. At this point, Pete had given up on keeping track of them.

He reached toward the window, squinting out to the world. His eyes were still adjusting to the light, which he didn't have to care about until he had taken off his suit. Man, it would be nice to just wear it full time.

A design for auto-adjusting sunglasses came to mind before flitting out of his head as so many of his thoughts did these days.

Peter stretched, a yawn rolling out of his mouth before he could stop it. He didn't like yawning much nowadays. It just made him feel more tired.

Sighing, he scooped his backpack off his bed, it's worn navy blue cloth bouncing against his storm gray shirt. Tugging the strap over his shoulder, he trudged out the door for yet another miserable day of high-school

"Bye May!" He called, heading out the door.

As he walked down the street, he tried to tousle his hair into something marginally presentable (wearing the mask gave him hat hair). A glance in a nearby shop window told him this was a futile effort.

Terrific.

 

 

Time felt weird. There really wasn't many other ways to describe it. It was just weird. It was like the air was made of honey for a moment. He couldn't hear anything properly and nothing was moving as quickly as it was supposed to. Then he would blink and suddenly the class was over and he was walking to lunch.

The cafeteria was buzzing with noise, but for some reason he couldn't listen to any of it. None of it made sense. It was all too quiet... and it was too bright to pay attention to anything he heard anyway.

At least Ned and MJ were both absent, having gotten sick from that one flu going around school. Or maybe it was a cold. Peter didn't quite remember. Anyhow, this would stem the 'are you okay's and 'do you want help's. They didn't need to be worried over him missing a bit of sleep.

Maybe more than a bit, but he was fine. Everything was fine.

A glob of chunky, sludgy... something hit the back of his head, forcibly dragging him out of his thoughts. He flinched upward, trying to pat it off. Bringing his hand back to where he could see it, he scowled. Potatoes. It was potatoes. There were mashed potatoes in his hair. Why hadn't he sensed it? He should've noticed it. He should've been able to dodge it. What was- no. His spidey senses were just a bit overloaded. He just made a mistake. He just didn't react fast enough. That was it.

On the bright side, it stopped him from falling asleep in the middle of the cafeteria. 

On the not-bright side, this meant he had to deal with Flash.

"Oops," Flash smirked. "Guess I just slipped." He shrugged cockily, runny potatoes still dripping off the side of his lunch tray.

"Go away, Thompson. I just... don't have the energy for it today," Peter's voice was hoarse, but cut with an edge of anger.

"Oooh. Guess somebody's grumpy." He made a fake pouty face, making his voice go high in some dumb baby voice. It rang in his ears louder than any of the cafeteria buzz.

He let his head drop to the table, covering it with his arms. "Aw, poor little Penis Parker can't handle the noise?" Eugene purred.

"I said go away." His voice cracked.

Thompson scoffed, his grin only growing wider. "What're you gonna do about it?"

He couldn't breathe. It was too bright to see. He could hear the screaming. Yelling. His heartbeat slowly winding down until it just stopped. He couldn't save him. He thought they had won and then all the sudden-

The table cracked beneath him. The fractures were small, but the minute they erupted outward they sent a shot of sound echoing through the cafeteria. Through his head. Bouncing off the walls of his brain like a supercharged ping-pong ball.

He stood up started walking.

He barely registered sneer on Eugene's face. No- he didn't register it at all. And he refused to notice Flash's reply, "Run away? That's your solution? What a wimp." Nor his amused snicker.

He didn't even felt himself pushing through the doors, but he did feel himself get stuck to the handle for a split second. He could feel every tiny imperfection in the metal. Every scratch and dent. Every scar upon it's surface.

And then he just wasn't.

Speed-walking down the sidewalk, breaking into a run before he even realized it. When did he get here? Where was he even going?

He didn't know. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

* * *

Happy sighed, glancing across the progress tracking screens. Every Avenger known to man had their name scattered somewhere across the seemingly never-ending list of missions. Sam was off with Bucky on some kind of stealth mission off in Europe. Captain Marvel was off-world, as always.  And, of course, Thor and the rest of the Guardians were off the grid, galavanting around and doing who-knows-what.

His eyes flicked across each name, constantly checking for any new reports. Any changes. Anything wrong.

"Happy." Friday's voice clicked through the nearby speakers. "There is an update on Peter."

"Mm?" Happy hummed without so much as glancing away from the glowing blue screens. "What's he gotten himself into now?"

"Karen has reported that Peter has left the Midtown School of Science and Technology."

"Could he be chasing after someone? In a fight?"

"He is running down Syncet Street unaccompanied. He has not activated the panic protocol as of yet, nor his suit, and there appears to be no clear reason for his sudden departure."

Happy paused for a long moment, finger tapping thoughtfully against the table before him. "When did you say he got back home last night?"

"8:00 a.m."

He brought in a breath, hissing through his teeth. "Alright, patch me through to him."

"Will do."

* * *

_Doo. Doo. Doo. Doo._

A muffled ringing ticked through his backpack, tugging him out of his trance. The sound swam in his ears, volume flowing up and down. One second drowning him, the next leaving him begging for water.

For the first time since the bite, he was sweating from just running. Or maybe it was more than just running. Who knew.

No, no, it was just the running. He was fine.

_Doo. Doo. Doo. Doo._

There it was again. He should probably answer that, huh? How was he supposed to answer that again?

Right, right. The suit.

He awkwardly rummaged through his backpack, searching for the familiar feel of metallic armour. "Karen, detach ear-piece."

Thank God he had been able to upload Karen to the new suit. He'd never know how to work anything without her, and... it was nice to have someone around.

"Yes, Peter." A blue metal chunk clicked off of the suit, which was sitting in a heap at the bottom of his backpack.

_Doo. Doo. Do-_

He pressed the piece into his ear. "Karen, answer call."

"Yes, Peter."

_"Hey, Peter. I saw that you were out of school early today. Are you okay?"_

"Oh! Uh..." He paused, trying to figure out who the voice belonged to. "Oh! H-Happy! Hi..." He trailed off. What did Happy want? Did he ask a question? What was the question? He had just asked it, why was it so hard to remember?

_"So... are you okay, then?"_

He paused, slightly startled. "Uh... yeah, I'm fine." Even he could hear the lie in his tone. The scratchy way the words dragged themselves out of his throat. The crack that tore his voice in half.

_"Summer break starts tomorrow for you, doesn't it?"_

"Yeah." He'd been counting down the days. Peter wanted- needed to spend it 'working'. It was the only thing he did afterschool anymore. He couldn't bring himself to do much else. Every time he tried, the waves tugged him under. Guilt, shame, regret. He wasn't sure which. Or maybe it was all of them. Or none.

It was none. He was fine.

_"-and that paired with cap's retirement, we're really low on people right now. How would it sound to stay at the Avengers headquarters to help us out then?"_

"I'm sorry, what?"

_"It's okay if not, I totally understand, but-"_

"Nonono, I mean I uh- I want to. I just didn't hear that entire s-sentence." Peter stammered quickly. How had he not heard it? Maybe the connection had stopped for a second. But that should've been impossible since it was... it was _his_ technology and his technology never malfunctioned because he built it to function around the world. His technology never failed. And now there would never be any more of it because-

No. No. Don't get sucked into it now.

_"For the summer. Just stay and help out for the summer."_

"Sounds great! Lemme ask Aunt May, th-though." His voice was still crackling. "She'll- er, she'll want to kn-know."

  

  

A few hours later, he was watching the world go by. Well, not necessarily watching. It blurred into a bright mess of smears the minute they started moving. Usually, he could pick out every detail of the street, no matter how fast the car was moving.

It was fine, he was fine, he just... just couldn't focus today.

"You doin' okay back there, kid?" Peter could see Happy's raised eyebrow in the rearview mirror, a concerned frown tugging at the ends of his mouth.

"Yeah, just- just a bit tired today." His voice was hushed, almost like the tone people use when they're talking in the early hours of the morning.

"You, uh- You been getting enough sleep?" Happy glanced back, taking in the darkened circles beneath Pete's eyes. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

Happy bit his lip thoughtfully, "Okay then..." Tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, he gave a gusty sigh. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

 

 

"Over there is the med-bay. It's... it has mechanical assistants but they're not complete... and we're not sure how to finish them," Happy admitted, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "Try not to get injured. Strange is getting tired of being called over."

"Anyway, through here is a common room-ish area." Happy gestured to a set of gray doors. "The dorms are all, well, almost all, set up in there as well." He pushed them open, revealing a living room-like space where some cushy looking navy blue sofas and a wall lined with doors, assumably to the dorms.

"Don't expect there to be tons of people here all the time. The dorms are usually just temporary sleeping arrangements for more long-term missions and whatnot." Happy waved a hand toward the sets of doors. "I think Clint is around here some-"

"Right here." A hand popped up from one of the couches which was facing away from the two, soon followed by a head.

He groaned as he sat up, seemingly having fallen asleep on the couch. Rubbing his eyes, he glanced over to them. "What's with the kid?"

Peter paused, the question taking a moment to register. "Oh! I'm P-Peter. Uh, Peter Parker. Sp-Spiderman."

Hawkeye nodded, giving a thoughtful hum. "So... you're that kid from Germany?" He asked, stretching as he stood from the couch.

"Y-Yeah..." Peter cringed inwardly. Of course he just had to have given him the _perfect_  first impression. "That was me."

His face remained expressionless for a long moment, before he asked, "How old are you?" 

Peter blinked. That was kind of out of the blue. Should he count the time he was snapped? Probably not... "Sixteen."

"Sixteen." Clint tapped his foot on the floor a few times, "That's pretty young."

"I mean- I guess..." He shrugged quietly, rocking back and forth on his heels. "It-"

_Doot doot doot doot._

Clint glanced upward as alarms blared. A few lights flashed on and off, shifting shadows along the walls and outlining them in a stark white light. "Ah, looks like it's go time," He deadpanned.

"...For what?" Peter asked cautiously, trying to ignore the way the lights blinded him every few seconds.

"We'll see."

* * *

"Wow."

Yeah, wow pretty much summed it up.

It was huge. The mass of ice was taller than all of the nearby skyscrapers, gleaming in the sunlight like some teenage girl's bedazzled diary. It engulfed parts of a number of buildings, including Shawarma Palace (which Clint was _not_ happy about).

"Sooo... what do we do?" The kid squeaked.

"We get this bread."

Clint squinted along the glacier for a moment, searching for weaknesses in the ice. It only took a moment before he found what he needed. A large, internal crack where it was already cracking beneath the pressure of it's own weight.

One explosive arrow later they were in.

"Are you sure this is... stable?" God, he sounded so _young_. No kid should be in this kind of thing. People lost too much playing hero.

"No clue." He glanced across the makeshift breach, taking in the ragged edges. "You should stay back while I deal with it. It looks liable to collapse, and we could use someone evacuating the civilians."

The kid paused, seemingly mulling the order over. "S.H.I.E.L.D. has that covered already," He bit back, "Besides, if the ice collapses, you don't have super strength."

"And _you_ don't a drinking permit. Your point is?" Clint could hear how ridiculous he sounded, but this kid was someone's _child_ , and he knew what it was like to lose a child. He wouldn't wish that on anyone.

"I can help!" He whined, desperation cutting into his voice.

"You could also get injured."

"I just-"

"You _just_ need to stay back and not get killed." He scowled back at the kid. "Stay. Back."

* * *

It was official. Peter hated ice.

Explosions rang in his ears as Hawkeye tunneled deeper into the glacier. Each boom somehow both unbearably loud and muffled at the same time. 

Light gleamed off every surface, flashing in between blindingly intense and sightly less blindingly intense, even through the filtering eyepieces on his suit. Not to mention that the light bouncing across the walls made it nearly impossible to sneak up on a master assassin.

"I know you're here."

Scratch that, completely impossible.

"You know you need my help." He didn't try to hide the tiredness in his voice anymore. His senses wouldn't stop bouncing between stupidly strong and ridiculously under-powered. Or maybe that was just how strong they were before the bite. Who knew at this point.

"No, I need you to be safe. You're just a kid."

"I'm not just a kid!" Pete yelped, his cloudy mind loosening his mouth. "I have _died_ before." He growled, "I have watched people I love die. I came back after the snap and the first thing I did was fight an entire _army_. How many people come out of that and can still be _just_ a kid?"

Hawkeye went silent for a long moment, his jaw twitching ever so slightly as he glanced over the boy. "If you get injured, you're leaving as soon as possible. Understood?"

"Yeah, yeah," He groaned, another intense flash stabbing through his mask.

A shiver crackled up his spine, drowsiness settling around his head like a cotton blanket. "Karen, activate heaters," He whispered. God, he hated being cold.

_Crack._

The wall crumbled down with yet another explosive arrow, revealing a gargantuan cavern. In the middle stood a man with a strange contraption on his back that was continuously churning out a gaseous substance.

He jumped, scrambling away from the two avengers. "No. No!" He barked, eyes flitting wildly between the two. "You'll never bring me back! Never!"

Raving lunatics were always fun to deal with.

Needless to say, it was not a fun fight. Karen had his suit heaters working in overdrive for the entire time, but he still felt the pull of sleep tugging at his eyelids.

He paused, clinging to one of the walls while he was trying to puzzle out how to stop the freezing cold vapor pouring out of the contraption. His mind felt like it was trapped in maple syrup, thoughts moving sluggishly as a very slow, very sucky screensaver.

Blocking the tubes might work, but they flailed about so much it would be hard to get anything into it.

Then a very stupid idea came to mind.

Squinting toward one of the flailing tubes, he shot some webbing toward it. Miss. Another try. Another miss. His third time was the charm, and, thankfully, the grenade shots were enough to fully block it.

Now four more to go.

The mad-man's machine sputtered, gears spinning wildly. Apparently blocking off most of the tubes wasn't too good for it. Nor was it easy... but after nearly covering the cavern with splatters of webbing and a sparse scattering of stray arrows, the two had finally managed to eliminate all but one pipe.

Something bad always happens on the last one.

Peter was quite tired at this point, clinging onto the waking world with sheer strength of will (and perhaps from the adrenaline rush of the fight), and boy was he ready for this to be over.

At least he had dropped into the routine. Look. Aim. Fire. Miss. Try again.

Look. Aim. Fire. Miss. Try again.

Look. Aim. Fire... Hit!

Leaning against the corner of the ceiling, he breathed a sigh of relief. He turned to climb back down, but a hissing sound caught his attention.

Glancing down at the mad-man and his machine, he watched the metal warp. Bending outward like something was pushing against it. He heard a shout ring through the air, but before he could process what it was saying, everything turned upside-down.

* * *

"Get out of there!" The warning came too late.

Half the cave now lay in a crumbled heap, with kid somewhere at the bottom. The insane idiot was out on the floor among his wrecked contraption. Shrapnel was everywhere, most of it clinging to the webbing dotting the cavern.

"We need help in here!" He shouted, sprinting toward the pile. Clint dug like his life depended on it, but it was no use. There was no sign of him. He was probably slowly getting the life crushed out of him as he-

No! Wait, there was a flash of red. It wasn't the kid's suit...

He heaved chunks of ice out of the way, trying to find the source. There was so much blood. how much blood can you lose before dying? 

Minutes felt like hours as he desperately clawed into the pile. He would be there. After the next rock. He would be there. 

Finally, a hand, reaching out like it was begging for help. Clint grabbed it, tugging as if his life depended on it. The heap shifted and, slowly, ever so slowly, he dragged the kid out.

He ripped off the mask. His lips were blue as the ice they sat upon. Even while unconscious, he whimpered in pain, a sound that flooded Clint with a strange mixture of fear and relief. 

Pulse? Slow, but it was there. Breathing? Labored and uneven. Temperature? Karen said it was 94 degrees.

"Can you warm him up somehow?" He asked the AI as he lifted the kid into his arms.

"The heaters broke on impact with the wall."

"Alright, perfect, terrific," Clint growled, panic making his movements shaky. 

But there was no time to panic.

He slapped the distress button, anxiety spiking as the call binged. Seconds slipped through his fingers like water. Come on, come on, answer!

_"What's up?"_

"Strange, I need you. Now."

_"...I'll be there in a few minutes."_

 

 

Strange sighed gustily as he leaned over the kid, working in silence. He moved quickly, eyes flitting across his bandaged injuries.

"How'd he even get hurt?" He asked, brushing his hand across Pete's ribs, checking for cracks.

"Cave collapsed on him."

"A cave collapsed-" Strange pinched his nose between his fingers, stopping himself with a gusty sigh. "Okay, alright then," he grumbled, "And it was also an ice cave? Yeah, yeah, terrific."

His foot tapped the floor a few times. "You are aware spiders can't regulate body heat, correct?"

Clint sucked in a breath through his teeth, making a hissing sound. "Had no clue."

"Yeah well now you know. They go into hibernation if they get too cold." Clint flinched at his tone. Hibernation? That sounded bad. Really bad. "If we just warm him up he should wake up soon enough, but that doesn't account for his injuries."

He glanced across a few nearby screens, displaying a scrolling jumble of words and numbers. "Judging by the data, he's gonna heal quicker than average, so I'd estimate a week or two and he'll be back to normal. In the meantime, just let him rest, and get him plenty of food and fluids."

He brought his gaze back toward Clint. "And what about you?"

"And what about me?"

"Any injuries?"

"Mm, yeah, I'm fine," He mumbled absentmindedly. "So when should he wake up?"

Stephen ignored the question. "If you're fine then let me look you over to make sure. The spider kid is never the only one with injuries."

"Relax, Strange." Clint waved a dismissive hand, "I don't go into hibernation when I get cold."

Stephen considered this, but not for long. "I'll give you an estimate of when he should wake up if you let me look you over."

Clint gritted his teeth, only hesitating for a moment. "Fine."

* * *

 

The first thing he felt was confusion. The floor was getting closer far faster than he would've appreciated. Also, floors weren't supposed to move. 

But then it didn't matter because the second thing he felt was pain. A lot of it.

Stabbing into him like little icicles. Crushing his lungs. Breathing would be nice, but apparently that was too much to ask for.

Maybe he should just sleep...

No! He couldn't sleep. He couldn't go back there. He just... he _couldn't_! He failed, and he was already failing again, and he couldn't fall asleep because-

because...

 

 

_Ba-thum-thum._

Lightning flared overhead. Splotches of white among the scarlet red clouds. But for some reason it didn't look... right. It merely flashed throughout the sky, never deigning to brighten the ground which he stood upon.

_Ba-thum-thum._

It was almost recognizable somehow. Torn up ground and the smell of ash. The sound of water bursting out of every pipe in sight, and murky oceanwater pouring down onto the... the battlefield.

_Ba-thum-thum._

No. No. No. No. He wasn't back here. He couldn't be back here. It didn't make sense. Everything was wrong. Why were the clouds red? Where was everyone? And if he was back her then... was _he_ here?

_Ba-thum-thum._

The steady thrum of the waves melded with the heartbeat drowning his mind. His heart was still beating. There was still time. He could save him!

_Ba-thum._

Why was his heartbeat slowing down? That wasn't supposed to happen. This was a second chance, he was supposed to save him! There as still time. He just had to find him. Where, where, where-

_Ba-thum._

There! Slumped against a pile of rocks, eyelids slowly beginning to droop shut. 

"Mr. Stark!"

* * *

"Mr. Stark..." The mumble-whisper wafted through the air, hoarse with desperation.

"Mm?" Clint groaned, rubbing his eyes and sitting up a bit straighter in his chair.

"Mr. Stark..." There it was again.

"Kid?" Clint squinted into the darkness. The med-bay was scattered with blinking lights, and if he looked hard enough, he could see the lump of darkness where Peter sat atop his cot, whispering his pleas into the darkness.

* * *

 "Mr. Stark!" Tears were streaming down his face. "Mr. Stark, I can help I promise. I-"

_Ba-thum._

He didn't say a word, just stared back at him with a sightless gaze. "Just- just hold on, I can- I can-"

_Ba-thum._

"I-" His breathing was slowing. And his heartbeat...

_Ba... thum._

"I'm sorry."

_Ba..._

...

...

* * *

If he listened carefully, he could hear the seemingly meaningless mumbles that the kid's cries had devolved into. Slowly, it winded down into complete silence.

Well, not complete silence. Every few seconds there was a new sound. The creak of his cot as he twitched in his sleep. The constant blip of his heart on the monitor. The occasional whimper of pain, either emotional of physical, Clint wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry."

* * *

 ...

"Mr. Stark?"

...

"Mr. Stark, please."

...

" _Please_."

...

"Mr. Stark!"

 

He gasped, launching upward with his hands death-gripping the cot beneath him. A loud crack rang through the air.

Instantly, light flooded the room. Peter flinched, squinting against the sudden assault on his eyes.

There was a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him down. "Kid! You're okay, it's okay."

"No no," He protested weakly, trying to sit up again. Pain shot of his side, wrenching a gasp from throat. "I- I need to-"

"You need to calm down."

"But I- he-" Peter choked on his words, tears making wet trails beneath his eyes.

"You're okay."

Everything just felt so wrong, and he shouldn't be crying in front of an Avenger. He'd just think he was a kid. Just some dumb kid.

But he couldn't stop. The ugly sobs tearing through his chest like a monster cleaving down the bars of it's cage. Roaring into the night with a desperate determination. A need to be free.

Then something wrapped around him.

Arms. They were arms. This was a hug.

The hug was strong. Like he was keeping him from blowing away in the storm. But it was also soft, anchoring him with a comforting feeling of... _there-ness_. Of someone being there and knowing that everything was wrong but that was okay. Of the silent safety the stars brought when the rose into the sky.

It was nice.

He cried freely, time freezing in his sorrow. Who knows how long he buried his face in his shoulder while Clint gently patted his back, but when he finally leaned back he had left a wet spot on his shirt.

Peter sniffed, "S-Sorry."

"Kid... it's fine."

And, for once, it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably fucked up at least five characterizations but oh well.
> 
> ALSO the reason Hawkeye didn't recognize spidey was because the first time he saw him was in Germany and he was off with cap after civil war, and then Pete got poofed so... yeah. Idk if thats what happened canonically, but my motto is "Canon fuckery" so I don't know what you wanted when you started reading this.
> 
> ALSO ALSO I chose Clint cause he's a dad already so I feel like he'd do dad things, and only become more protective after his family got snapped (and then unsnapped)


	2. Irondad and Spiderson: Best Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony discovers Friday's secret stash of adorableness.
> 
> Warnings: NONE! :D

He used to work in silence, save for the persistent click of metal against metal (and perhaps the occasional explosion). It was quite peaceful. Just him, his coffee, and the clock slowly ticking past three a.m. 

Nowadays, though, silence was out of the question.

"-And then Thor came out of _nowhere_ and his hammer just went _KABAM_! Just slapped the dude in the back a' the head, and he grabs it and starts _flying_ and there's sparks everywhere and I think that's cool, but _then_ Hawkeye just shoots an arrow and it pops into this weird foamy stuff that hardens, did you make that by the way? Cause it totally encased the guy and he was stuck but Thor also-"

Don't get him wrong, talking with the kid was great. He absolutely loved it, but there comes a time in every man's life when they just have to focus on programming in some new systems to his AI instead of listening to their sort-of adopted super child ramble about fighting a giant robot like they do practically every week. 

"So then he rips off his arm! Just the entire thing is _gone_ , wires and everything, and-"

"Hey, Pete..." Tony sighed, placing a hand on the kid's shoulder. "I'm really sorry, kid, but I gotta get this program finished."

Peter blinked, the excited glow leaving his eyes. He coughed, bright smile dropping off his face, replaced by an apologetic frown. "Oh... y-yeah, sorry, I should've known that you were busy. I- uh..." He scratched the back of his head, bouncing nervously on his heels.

Oh god, that really hurt his heart... "No no, it's fine, but..." Tony trailed off, trying to find a reasonable excuse. Or really any excuse that would stop the guilty puppy face. "You're gonna miss movie night. I'll catch up later, I promise."

He just barely held back a relieved sigh when Pete managed a shy smile. "Yeah, a-alright." The kid stammered, turning to leave the lab. "See you, Mr. Stark!" He called, shutting the door a bit harder than he probably intended to.

It shook the walls, sending a prototype helmet rolling off one of the shelves, soon followed by the shelf itself.

Super-strength... as useful as it was, it cost a lot.

Ah, well. He could complain about being one of the few (relatively) normal humans here with Nat and Clint later. Right now the system wouldn't fix itself.

He squinted at the screen, skimming the code. "Hey, Friday?"

"Yes, Boss?"

"What's this in the video save file?" He gestured to a line that he sure as hell didn't write.

She answered without missing a beat. "A video."

Where did she even learn this sarcasm from? Well, that was obvious. Himself. But why did it have to be so  _annoying_. "Yeah, I got that Fri." He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I mean the thing that I'm pointing at."

A few seconds passed. If he didn't know better, he'd assume she was loading the answer. But he did know better. She had the fastest processing power of any computer in the world, she just didn't want to tell him.

"...That is a compilation of videos."

"Of what videos?" Tony quirked an eyebrow. "Who uploaded them?"

"Videos taken from your suits, Boss... I stored them in the system."

"Why is it called Best Moments?"

It took an entire ten seconds this time. Wow, he really needed to program his AI to have more of the artificial part. "IT's short for the full title, Irondad and Spiderson: Best Moments."

Okay. That wasn't what he was expecting.

He really only had one question. "Why?"

"I thought you might want to watch them later, Boss."

Running a hand through his hair, he closed his eyes just to take it in for a second. Sighing gustily for what must've been the third time in the past five minutes, he waved a hand dismissively. "Alright, fine then. Play it."

"Will do, Boss."

 

_The video is shaky, a nighttime view of the Avengers tower, which is rapidly growing closer. A grumbly-mumble that sounded oddly echoed comes through the speakers. "And I can see that he's just messing around on the ceiling when he's supposed to be sleeping. Just right there in the window! Hanging upside-down!"_

_The camera zooms in on one of the windows in the tower, showing a dark room where a slightly darker shadow came into focus. It's the shape of a small teen crouched on the ceiling, leaning with his face smushed into the glass._

_"Watch, I'm gunna catch him and give him the scare of his life. It'll be great. Friday, unlock the window to Pete's room."_

_"Yes, Boss."_

_He flew closer, right up next to it. "Turn on the lights too."_

_They blink on, revealing a very messy room and an also a sleeping teenager._

_His hair flops toward the ground in a spiky Naruto look, and drool trails down the window where his cheek sits flattened against it. You can hear the snores even through the wall. They rattle the glass every few seconds, sending vibrations through the reflection of the city lights._

_A very quiet (and marginally awed) Stark mutters, "What the fuck?"_

* * *

_Boosters slowed as metallic red feet touch down on the balcony. An excited, although muffled, voice calls from the kitchen, "Mr. Stark! You're back!"_

_Peter practically skips into view, his hair ruffled into a ridiculous mop in what could only be called a terrible case of mask-head. He starts rambling in his signature too-much-to-talk-about way, "I just got back too, and we were fighting, just me and my fellow spider bro."_

_Pete waves his hands about as he speaks, talking about what was probably some story involving him and Natasha stopping a bank robbery, but you can't quite tell with him speaking in such an incoherent jumble of words._

_Unfortunately, Peter happens to be holding an Oreo, and as he wildly waves his hands about he ends up sending it bouncing across the floor. He frowns for a moment before snatching it off the ground, about to eat it._

_"No, don't do that." Tony grumbles, "The five-second rule isn't even real, there's probably tons of germs on that. Like tons. In the millions. The billions. You're probably gonna get sick or something, it's just not worth-"_

_Crunch._

_He sighs._

* * *

_Peter is suited up, but even through his mask, you can tell he was grinning._

_He swings through the city a few yards away, but the camera (most likely Tony's suit) swoops up next to him, easily keeping up with his speed. "Hey Kid, you doing okay?"_

_Pete is more than happy to reply in his forever cheerful tone. "Mr. Stark! Yeah, I'm doin' pretty good! This suit it amazing, Mr. Stark! It's got everything! Did you change the chemical composition of the web fluid, by the way? It seems a bit stronger than usua-"_

_BAM. Straight into a wall._

_Tony gives a strained cough-laugh. "Oh my god, Kid? Are you okay?"_

_Peter only replies with a weak thumbs-up._

* * *

_The camera appears to be a phone this time, recording the kitchen where Peter sits next to a two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola. He's grinning like a maniac._

_"Alright, you ready Kid?" Stark chuckles, holding a pack of mentos up to the camera._

_"Ready!" Pete chirps back, shooting him a double thumbs up._

_"Then let's gooooooooo!" He upends the tube into the bottle as Peter scrambles backward, soon ending up clinging to the wall._

_Tony takes a few steps back as well. He speed-walks out of range just in time. The drink starts foaming, and, two seconds later there's a soda geyser splattering the ceiling. And the floor. And the walls._

_As the burst finally begins to calm down, it reveals_ _a kitchen completely coated in soft drink._

_Peter gulps. "Oh shit."_

* * *

_"Oh! Great! You're back!" Peter chirps, sprinting up to Tony (who was once again landing on the balcony). "I need you to do something for me."_

_"What? Kid, I just got back from fighting a huge, genetically modified lizard and I'm not really-"_

_"There's a spider." Peter blurts, his eyes wide._

_"Wh- a spider? That's it?" Stark sighs, "Okay, fine. Just... where is it?"_

_"Over there." He whimpers_ _, pointing to a black speck the size of his thumb. It scuttles forward a few feet, ending up right in front of Tony._

_"Really, it's not that hard." He grumbles, stamping his foot on it. "Ya just have to-"_

_The spider guts explode into what could only be assumed to be a hoard of baby spiders. They swarm outward like a creepy firework, ignorant of Pete's girly screams._

_"Uh... Peppeeeer!" Tony shouts, hopping backward. "Pepper we need help over here!"_

* * *

_The camera lurches forward, flying rapidly toward a brick building with a spiderman-shaped indentation beside one of it's windows._

_"See, that's where I hit last time," Peter rambles, "But not this time! Because you-" He kicks off the wall. "Can fight me! Ha!" He snickers. "Never again you stupid little-"_

_WHAM!_

_The screen goes black._

_"Kid? Kid! Really? Right next to the other one?" An aggravated sigh. "Alright, we're going to the med-bay. Come on."_

* * *

_An awkwardly filmed side view of Peter appears. He's eating a mountain of pancakes at breakneck speed, only pausing to re-drench the stack in maple syrup before diving in once again._

_"Dude!" Clint, assumably the filming, exclaims. "Save some for the rest of us!"_

_Pete blinks, halting his marathon run of food. "Oh! S-sorry! I was just really hungry. Super metabolism an' all..."_

_"Wait, you have a super metabolism?"_

_"Well, yeah." Pete scratched the back of his head, "S' why I can heal so fast."_

_"So... does that mean it's impossible for you to get drunk?"_

_Peter smiles sheepishly. "In theory."_

_Clint gasps, his grin audible through his tone. "Dude, we have to-"_

_"No." Tony yells from the other room._

_"C'mon, it's not like-"_

_"No!"_

* * *

_"Aww yeah." Peter poses in front of a mirror, flexing in a number of... interesting poses. His voice is hushed, like he's trying to not get caught. This is understandable considering he's wearing the iron man mask._

_"Hey, yeah, it's me, Iron man." A spot on impression of his mentor. "Genius. Billionaire. Play-"_

_"Peter, what are you doing?" The voice comes from the doorway, soon revealed to be Tony himself as Pete whirls around to figure out who it was._

_"Oh! Mr- Mr. Stark! I can explain!"_

_"Yeah, sure."_

* * *

_"Hey Kid!" Tony calls, shooting through the air to fly next to his favorite arachnid themed superhero. "I heard about your bust at the bank today..." He begins rambling about something Pete had done._

_Being completely focused on the kid, he doesn't even notice the wall zooming toward him until it's too late._

_The screen goes black, and both heroes speak in unison._

_"Ow."_

* * *

_Peter swings into the Avenger's tower through_ _an open window, straight to the kitchen. Tony sits on a couch not too far away, messing around on his phone, not even noticing Pete has arrived._

_"Hey," Tony's head pops up, and Peter prepares to launch into his excited ramble. "Dad, you'll never guess what just-" He freezes, suddenly realizing what he just said._

_A long moment of silence passes. Tony is clearly startled too. He opens his mouth to reply, only to close it again, then opens it, closes it, repeat cycle._

_This lasts for a long five seconds before Pete blurts, "S-Sorry, Mr. Stark, I-"_

_"No," Tony's tone is quiet, almost embarrassed. "No, it's- uh, it's fine." He coughs, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. "Son."_

 

A soft smile tugged at the corners of Tony's mouth. "Friday?"

"Yes Boss?"

"Save to my personal files."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write a short oneshot? Yes. Was it poorly written? Yes. Does this make me unreasonably happy anyway? YES.


End file.
